I Don't Want to be a Strong Woman. And Neither Should You.

On International Women’s Day, my social media feeds were filled with celebrations of so many strong women. And rightly so. They deserve to be celebrated. We all deserve to be celebrated.

But now that IWD is over, I’d like to make a bold statement:

We all need to stop being so damn strong.

Your Strength Is Holding You Back

My best friend is a self-proclaimed “Strong Southern Woman” -- as is her mother and as were her grandmothers. As a young woman, I strived to be the "rock" of my family. It’s something women have proclaimed proudly for decades.

There is nothing you can throw at us that we can’t handle.

We are Atlas. We can carry the world on our shoulders.

Because we are Strong.

You know the problem with that? Atlas never went anywhere. He had one job -- and it was to carry the burdens of all of humanity.

I don’t want to be Atlas. Do you?

I don’t want to be rooted in one place, being handed burdens and carrying them just because I can.

No, it’s time to exchange our strength for power.

Strength Is Static

Every good karateka (karate practitioner) I know has spent years, if not decades, unlearning how to be strong. We all arrive that first day in the dojo thinking that in order to punch hard, we have to wind up, grit our teeth, tense our muscles, and swing with all our might.

While we’re doing all that, we get punched in the face -- by someone smaller and faster.

That person doesn’t have strength. She has power.

The problem with strength is that it’s one-dimensional. It allows us to carry heavy burdens, to put up resistance, or to persist at something for a long time. Strength is static.

In the dojo, when someone tries to fight using brute strength, they are essentially creating resistance -- tensing up their muscles so they can stop an attack or hit with what they believe will be maximum force. They are being a rock. Rocks are solid, hard to break or move -- but not impossible.

Because they are also predictable. They don’t go anywhere, and they are easy to avoid.

In the workplace, I’ve known many women who are rocks because they mistakenly believe that is the way to get ahead. They believe that if they take on everything that’s handed to them -- without complaint -- their hard work, their strength will get them noticed.

The problem is, while they are busy being Atlas, taking on burdens that don’t belong to them and being strong, they are being weighed down. And the people who have cultivated power instead of strength, are moving around them. And ahead of them.

Power Is Dynamic

The reality is, it’s easier to be strong than it is to be powerful. If you want to become physically strong, you lift weights -- you literally strength train. You develop one thing: your muscles.

Power is multidimensional. That smaller, faster person who can get that punch in against the stronger person? She’s developed focus, speed, balance, an ability to read her opponent, a knowledge of physics and anatomy, a library of techniques, and yes, maybe a little strength.

But if she’d spent all her time strength training, she wouldn’t have developed all those other skills. She’d be left with a lot of strength and no power. She’d be left standing right where she is, resisting, fighting, stationary.

Yes, it’s harder to develop power. But it’s so worth it.

Plus, one day your strength will fail you. We all age, we grow tired -- physically and emotionally. You may believe you’ll be able to carry all those burdens forever, that you can will yourself to do it. But trust me, you can’t.

So put in the time and effort now to develop power.

The Path to Power

Exchanging your strength for power takes time and determination. Fortunately, the latter is something all of us strong women have in spades.

But the first step is to stop believing that you have to be strong.

I am nearly 50 years old. I'm 5'1" and 115 pounds. I will never be the strongest person in my dojo. Heck, I'm not even the strongest woman in my dojo (that title goes to an amazing Russian woman who is a decade older and several inches shorter than me -- size isn't everything). If being strong is the only thing that mattered, I should have given up a long time ago.

If it sounds like I'm talking about karate, I am.

If it sounds like I'm talking about life, career, and relationships, I am.

Because to paraphrase the great Dani Rojas, Karate is Life.

Don't worry, I'm not going to leave you hanging. I'm working on Part 2 of this piece (and maybe 3 or 4), to help you exchange your strength for power. Subscribe to stay in the loop, or follow me (@DeniseSenpai) on Twitter.